


Gotta Start a New Nation

by Mostly_Angst_Whoops



Series: Hunger Games AU [3]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Depression, F/F, Gen, I have a lot of ideas and I need to work them together, I want to make this deep without actually making it sound deep, M/M, Moving On, Reviving, Sci-Fi, There's a lot of aftermath, Thomas makes bad decisions, after the entire hunger games thing, good luck me, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-15
Updated: 2018-04-15
Packaged: 2019-04-23 01:12:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14321268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mostly_Angst_Whoops/pseuds/Mostly_Angst_Whoops
Summary: Thomas wants what he had back.Sequel to May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor,,, but this'll work as a standalone. Probably.





	Gotta Start a New Nation

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is!! Buckle up, guys.  
> (I don't think this is going to be as long as May the Odds, but I also assumed that May the Odds would be only 50k words so take what I say with a grain of salt. I'm going full Sci-Fi with this because I fucking love Sci-Fi)  
> I apologize for this information dump of a chapter.

_It was too silent for Thomas’ tastes. He knew that it was an artificial world surrounding him, one that was engineered specifically to torture him in a way that would entertain all the people watching. Back home, he had the sounds of people bustling in busy streets. He had constant chatter around him, and every now and then there would be mechanical noises from the quarries, or the sound of weapons as tributes woke up early for their training. Right now, however, it’s too silent._

_All the sleep Thomas has been getting recently was uneasy and fitful. He curled up a lot more, tried to hide how many times he woke up in the middle of the night with a nightmare. He didn’t want to be seen as weak. If anyone found out, he’d be cut out. He was only alive as long as he was useful._

_Thomas tried to keep himself useful. He hunted for food, and he got water from the river every day. That was nothing compared to the others, though. Anyone could hunt or be the waterboy. Thomas wasn’t going to survive long._

_Washington had already killed three. Adams had two, and so did James. Thomas had one. One kill, and he had frozen right after, felt guiltier than he had ever known he could feel before. He wanted to run over and apologize and make it better somehow._

_He had seen Alexander running away. He gave Alexander an extra knife, hoping it would at least fix some of the wrong he had just done. He knew James noticed everything, and he knew that James had noticed what Thomas had done too. James had looked directly at him and shook his head. Still, James had kept the secret safe. Made sure Thomas didn’t have to kill anyone._

_Thomas turned over in his sleep, blinking his eyes open once again. He hated how he could never sleep anymore. It was James as lookout right now. Maybe Thomas could talk to him for a little bit._

_Thomas sat up, blinking his eyes. “James?”_

_”Over here.” The voice was behind him._

_Thomas turned, only to see James holding up his scythe above Thomas’ head, ready to attack._

_”James, no-”_

***

Thomas woke with a start. It took him several deep breaths to finally calm down. _That was an upper cut,_ his brain told him. Instinctual. He’d studied this. Thomas rubbed the back of his neck, where the scythe would’ve gone, if that was real life and not a dream.

Alexander softly stirred, looking up at Thomas. “Are you okay?”

Thomas was still breathing heavily, but he nodded. “Nightmare.”

It was normal. He took a few minutes before finally lying back down. He’d had the nightmare before. It wasn’t anything new. Alexander wrapped an arm around him. 

“Wanna talk?” Alexander asked. His voice was soft and sleepy. 

Thomas shook his head, cuddling back into Alexander. “Go to sleep, Alex.”

Alexander nodded, holding Thomas close. Thomas just listened to the sound of Alexander breathing. He wondered how he ever thought he’d be done with the games after leaving the arena. He wasn’t. Alexander wasn’t. Nobody was. Thomas threaded his fingers into Alexander’s head, just leaving them there. It had been a long day for Alexander, at least judging from the rant he had given as soon as he had gotten back from whatever he was doing the entire day.

Alexander had wanted Angelica in charge. Even Thomas had wanted Angelica in charge. That didn’t happen. First of all, most people thought that Angelica was too young. Seventeen. Nobody had ever ruled that young before. Well, it wasn’t ruling anymore. It was serving. You were supposed to be helping the people, not dominating them.

When Alexander found out Angelica didn’t stand a chance, he was pissed. “So, you’re telling me that we’re old enough to sacrifice ourselves in their stupid ass games, but we can’t be in charge of shit? I hate it.”

Thomas didn’t feel like telling Alexander how the games picked children because children couldn’t do anything about it. They were already at a lower level than all the adults that had been in charge and were administering the games. They were in the games because they were powerless.

Alexander knew this, of course. Alexander had been shot at a few days ago. He wasn’t hurt, but the killer was still at large. 

Martha was in charge right now. Most people accepted it. She had been the leader of the rebellion, after all. Alexander didn’t think she was competent at all. The only reason the rebellion had actually started was because a bunch of kids broke out of the Hunger Games. She hadn’t been planning for that, and instead of letting them have a real role in the rebellion, almost all of them had been pushed to the side.

Well, Thomas hadn’t been. They had hated him for it, mostly because he could’ve shared the information at any time… and he didn’t.

Angelica and Alexander were at the forums every day, trying to be heard, hoping they could change something or the other. Maria drew political cartoons. Laf wrote stuff with Alexander. Thomas was just… there.

He didn’t want to work in the government. He had done enough work already. Yes, he wanted things to change, but he still felt powerless. Alexander and Angelica barely got anything done. It just seemed to stress them out more and more. Alexander’s pamphlet that had outlined Angelica’s policies had spurred a lot of people to support her father instead of her. The creation of new laws was slow and arduous. For now, everyone had to keep following the laws of their colony and go with the flow. That’s what Thomas wanted to do.

Alexander wanted to disrupt that flow as much as possible. 

He was constantly ranting and writing and revising some more, and it almost felt as Thomas had been pushed to the side. Alexander claimed he valued Thomas’ opinion, but Thomas’ opinion was that Alexander should just shut up and be happy for a little bit.

That’s all Thomas wanted. A little bit of peace. Alexander looked like he was back asleep. Thomas gently pulled out of his grip and walked out to the kitchen for some water. He saw Laf already there, sitting on the countertop with a glass of wine in his hand.

Laf had been staying with Alexander before Thomas moved in. Laf had apparently been sleeping in the same bed as Alexander too, which was weird when Thomas claimed his spot. He wished everything worked out perfectly between him, Laf, and Alexander. It did not.

For one thing, Laf’s best friend had been killed by Thomas’ best friend, and then Laf had killed Thomas’ best friend. Stuff was absolutely peachy between them. Both of them claimed to forgive, but that didn’t seem to be true. Not yet. 

Thomas grabbed a glass and filled it with water silently, not saying anything to Laf. He took a sip, letting the water calm him a little more. 

“How are you doing?” Laf asked.

Oh, so they were having a conversation. Thomas had been angry when James died, but he was even angrier now that he knew that James could’ve lived with the rest of them. It never had to be just one of them. Thomas’ voice was curt when he spoke. “Fine.”

That was a lie, of course.

“Well, I’m fine too,” Laf said. 

Laf was drinking wine at two in the morning while sitting on top of the kitchen counter in boxers and a hoodie. Yeah, that was a lie too. 

Alexander seemed to be wrapped around Laf every chance he got, like a koala. Laf held him close too, and Alexander would softly murmur stuff to Laf that Thomas couldn’t hear. The unspoken agreement was that Laf got Alexander during the day, and Thomas had Alexander at night. Thomas thought it was a stupid agreement, but he couldn’t think of anything else. 

Maria, Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy all lived on the floor above this one. Stuff seemed to be going well between them. Sometimes Laf would head upstairs and sleep in one of their rooms instead of down here. They all seemed to be close.

There was a faint notification noise, and Laf pulled a phone out of his hoodie pocket, beginning to text someone. Thomas downed the rest of his glass, setting it in the sink to deal with later. He headed back to the bed, crawling in with Alexander again. He wished things would get better. Things weren’t going well with any of his friends.

If anything, Washington and Adams seemed to have a similar philosophy as Thomas. They’d all been training since they could walk. They were all tired. They were all done. 

Thomas sometimes headed over to hang out with them. Every now and then, he and Washington would spar. They usually only sat around playing pool and trying to find conversation topics that weren’t the political chaos going on or the Hunger Games. 

Adams had a pet lizard. Sometimes, that’s all they talked about. It reached the point where Thomas knew exactly how many times Adams’ lizard pooped each day. Adams’ lizard was named Satan. Thomas didn’t blame him. They were all slightly out of it right now, and saying “Satan pooped” was the only thing that would be able to get them to smile. 

Sometimes they watched rom-coms and drank soda.

It wasn’t really friendship as much as a reminder that Thomas couldn’t make any other friends. 

Thomas really wanted to talk about James. He didn’t know who to speak to. He and Alexander had split up for the funerals. Thomas had gone to James’, and just looking at his friend’s face again had made the tears well up in his eyes. The worst part was that they had tried to make it look like James hadn’t been decapitated, but there was a rotted ring around his neck where the flesh had been exposed.

Thomas should’ve protected him. He should’ve been there for James. He had to walk away because if he stayed any longer, he would’ve started crying. Thomas can’t cry. Not when he’s supposed to be a symbol of strength. 

He cried when he was alone. He didn’t stop crying for a long time. 

Alexander had found closure when he saw Laurens and got to say goodbye. He had cried, in front of everyone. Everyone else was crying too. Alexander had made a speech about all that Laurens had done. 

Thomas couldn’t even muster a word. He had just stood there, looked at James, and walked off. James was probably congratulating him from the afterlife.

For some reason, Alexander decided to go to everyone’s funerals or just their gravestones when he missed the funerals, and he had been gone for two weeks in what seemed like a reflection of the victor’s tour.

When he came back, he seemed a lot more motivated to set things right. Thomas envied him. All Thomas feels motivated to do is curl up in bed all day. 

Thomas never really had to constantly fight for things in life the way Alexander had. He had his own battles. He still worked hard. He was gifted enough to be chosen as a tribute a year early. He just wanted the whole thing to be over now. He expected it to be over after he got out of the arena. He didn’t know what to do with this. 

Sometimes, he wanted to leave it to the people who actually had power. It seemed so hard to have to do it all himself. 

He knew Alexander would hate him if he knew what Thomas was thinking. Thomas had asked for time. Alexander was giving him time right now. 

He decided that he would do something tomorrow. At least try to feel slightly better. 

That was all he could do for now. Push it for tomorrow. 

He let out a soft yawn, drifting to sleep again. 

He just wanted to be happy. 

He wanted James back.

**Author's Note:**

> Like I said, sorry about the infodump. Just wanted to get character relationships out of the way.


End file.
